you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
