I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
