What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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