i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize