I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
