Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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