Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone came in the potted fern
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
