I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
