I must be too annoying 4 u.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
