why didn't you poke me back
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
