The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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