why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
