Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
