Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
