I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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