3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
