But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
