we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
