i think i have herpe
just one?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
