So drunk its hurt
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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