The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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