Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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