The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
