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literally had 100 drinks last night.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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