Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
