hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
