I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
