wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
