forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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