i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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