I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
