shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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