fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
