next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
