just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
