put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
