i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
