i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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