Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
