Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
