we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
