had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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