I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
