Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
