They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize