Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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