She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my shit smells like andre
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
