Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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