Porn is love you can see.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And my parents said I crawled through the house
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
