2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
