New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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