My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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