suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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