:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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