Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
my nose is crying tears of wow.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
