I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
me + whiskey = a bad person
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
