I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
