"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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