It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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