She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
